it's a new season.

waiting on the world to change.

this morning, as i was driving to work, i passed a field of sunflowers just as the song "waiting on the world to change" came on the radio.

it was early, before 8:30. the sky was a new york standard - foggy and gray with a small amount of sunglow peeking through. not even enough to say that the sun was shining.

but there they were - the sunflowers. i found myself looking at an entire field of backs of sunflower heads. their faces were turned to the east, toward that dim, weak, filmy sunlight.

is that all it takes to change direction?

a slim haze of light, a crumb, a scrap, a breath, a barely-there thought in the foggy morning.

help, i'm down here!

i'm here. i moved. i am internet-less until next weekend.

and may i just say.

it is so nice to move when you have more than $163.50 to your name, which is how i have done it every time i have moved except this one.

not that i'm rolling in it, but i can afford groceries and TP and stuff. like a grownup or something.

wow.

anyway, i'll be around more in about a week!

boy, i tell ya.

last week, i spent the entire week having my brain sucked out of my head with a straw participating in a CI event at work.

while i was doing that, ERIC GOT THE JOB.

whee!!

so, over the weekend, we found an apartment, signed a lease, and plopped down a big chunk of change. and then i cried. and then my bank account cried.

and then, this week? another brain suck. three words: internal auditor training. three clause-filled days of it. oh yeah. you want to BE me!

don't you???

anywho. in my infinite wisdom, i scrambled around this afternoon at work so that i will be able to take tomorrow off. somehow, some way, i gotta get my brain back.

so, tomorrow i will be scrubbing cupboards and putting down shelf liner and unpacking dishes and pots and pans. and then maybe? i'll cook something! in my own kitchen!

or, i might just melt into a puddle. i'll have to take it as it comes.

the wait might be over.

that's all i know for now.

let's just say that SOMEone (who happens to be engaged to the author of this blog) got a voice mail from an HR representative today. regarding the interview that he went to on friday.

both of our brains are zipping along at a billion miles per hour. hopefully he gets in touch with her tomorrow.

change! bring it.

waiting never was my strength.

i am filled with bad qualities. i'm lazy. i tend to want to be right all the time. i have a sugar addiction. to name a few.

also: i want. all the time. instant gratification has been my lifelong quest. i have wasted so much time lamenting my lack of ability to achieve instant gratification that i could have plodded on to some worthwhile goals by now.

the waiting! i dropped eric off and now i have to wait. so, for now, i am sitting in a coffeeshop and desperately trying not to chug my nonfat hazelnut latte. while also trying desperately not to strangle the 15-year-olds that are flirting behind me. they're pretending to be studying, but there is way too much giggling and "um... i don't KNOOOOW"-ing going on for it to be legitimate studying. "hehehehehehe!!!"

it makes me glad that i will never have to be a 15-year-old again. anywho. off to continue waiting with absolutely zero patience and grace.

job. job. job. job. job. job.

tomorrow, eric has a job interview.

it's an important job interview. he needs the job.

WE need the job. we want to get married. get a place.

all those pesky things that young folks in love strive for.

anyway. keep him in your thoughts, prayers, meditations, chants... whatever.

job. job. job. job. job. job.